|Eyes to the ground, Bitch!|
I'll admit it: there once was a time when I thought submissives were weak. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to be dominated by someone else, and in particular my feminist hackles were raised by the idea of women submitting to men. To me, it looked as if Dominants had it all: the control, the power and most of all, the pleasure.
However, over time and with increasing knowledge of what really happens in a D/s power exchange, I've come to realise that submission is not something for the weak-willed. Indeed, I have a great respect for the people who hand over control and power to someone else for a short while (or perhaps longer if you want to live it 24/7). It's not an easy thing to do and it takes great trust and honesty, along with a willingness to face your fears. Submissives aren't drippy walkovers, they're tough cookies.
The thing that came as a real shock, though, was the dawning realisation that when BDSM is working properly (safe, sane and consensual), it's actually the submissive who is the one getting the best deal. They're the ones being given pleasure (even if it sometimes looks like pain to an outsider). They're the ones who can lose themselves in the moment, truly alive in their bodies. And what's more, they're the ones who can end it all with a single word if they need to.
However, despite the hedonistic pleasures of submission, there are a few duties a good submissive should always bear in mind.
Honesty - because if there's one thing a dominant needs in order to plan properly, it's a comprehensive knowledge of what makes their submissive tick, both in terms of turn ons and turn offs.
Obeying orders - preferably quickly and without question... unless they happen to be teamed up with a Dominant who enjoys a Smart-Arsed-Masochist. I like to think Alasdair in Screwing the System is one of these Doms, and writing his interaction with Cosmo was always a huge amount of fun.
Accepting domination - (within pre-agreed limits) whether this means being tied up, hurt or used in all manner of degrading and delightful ways. Giant dildos optional.
Pleasing their Dominant - by maintaining good health and flexibility, and gaining new skills to please such as learning positions and mastering massage techniques. This might also include dressing in certain ways, and having body modifications like tattoos and piercings.
I have to admit, I still have a few difficulties wrapping my head around why somebody would want to go for a total power exchange relationship and live as a slave, 24/7, but I now know that by doing so, they're gaining great satisfaction and fulfilling a deep psychological need. I know I would never want to do anything like that myself, but I no longer find the idea creepy like I used to. I can see that rather than the owner getting all the benefits, they are in fact totally responsible for the well-being of their slave and that's a huge burden, not to be taken lightly.
Although it does mean you'd never have to do a chore you didn't want to do ever again. Right, I think I need a slave. Preferably one who enjoys vacuuming in the nude. Any takers? ;)
What do you think is the most important quality for a submissive to have? And if you had your own personal slave, what fiendish tasks would you set them?
Comment to win! Jo is offering a choice of a book from her backlist to one lucky commenter on this post, and all commenters throughout the blog tour will also be entered into a draw for the grand prize of a handmade suede flogger, to be announced on 25th February.
Also, watch out for the follow-up short story, Screw the Fags. To be available as a free download from Smashwords and All Romance eBooks this week!
He’s nobody’s bitch. Until he gets a ride on the bitch seat.
Forced to apply for a job he doesn’t want, Cosmo Rawlins has only one aim in mind: fail the interview and get back to making music. Except his attempt to shock the older, sharp-suited Alasdair Grant doesn’t have the desired effect.
Instead of getting thrown out of the office by flaunting an interest in BDSM, Cosmo finds himself on his knees, apologizing to the sexy, good-looking Top.
Alasdair has more important things on his mind than training a novice sub, especially a rebellious bad boy like Cosmo. But there’s something beneath the younger man’s defiant attitude that’s too intriguing to ignore.
As Alasdair takes Cosmo in hand—and for a wild ride on his Harley—he becomes obsessed with bending the young rocker to his will, both in and out of bed. Until he goes one demand too far, and Cosmo is gone in a cloud of dust. Forcing Alasdair to admit that earning Cosmo’s loyalty—and love—will involve the toughest challenge he’s ever faced.
Warning: This title contains an overbearing Top with a less-than-glamorous job, a rebellious brat who refuses to call him sir, and a total lack of high-end BDSM clubs or playrooms. Expect floggings over the kitchen table instead.
English through and through, Josephine Myles is addicted to tea and busy cultivating a reputation for eccentricity. She writes gay erotica and romance, but finds the erotica keeps cuddling up to the romance, and the romance keeps corrupting the erotica. Jo blames her rebellious muse but he never listens to her anyway, no matter how much she threatens him with a big stick. She’s beginning to suspect he enjoys it.
For more information about Jo’s published stories, regular blog posts and saucy free reads, visit JosephineMyles.com
Photo credit: istolethetv via photopin cc